What would you say if you could go back in time and talk to your 12-year-old self? Something like, “Look, kid, you do not grow up to be rich, famous or a rock star — but you do have a family and a very fulfilling life, it does get better, just hang in there, lil’ slugger”? Would you urgently yell, “Come with me if you want to live!” and then you each have a really good laugh, because you both agree that The Terminator is, like, totally awesome? (That personal opinion has not changed over the decades.) Maybe you just tell him to buy stock in CerebroChip™, the company that will make the microchips everyone is soon going to have directly implanted in their brains and will, in a few years, replace smart phones as the common, collective conduit for communication, distraction and misinformation. Trust us on this one.
Or maybe you trade insults and goofy banter — because…